Ghettoria Nation Decides: Nudists Demand Time In Sun

Government Acts

The Issue

A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate

"I agree,"

mused sociology professor Konrad Jones.

"But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't
be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would
put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."

"Whoa, whoa,"

says noted accountant Peggy Bush.

"Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a
coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me.
If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own
homes.
Think of the children!"

The Government Position

"For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and
polyester!"

yelled protester May McAlpin, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn.

"We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My
body--my choice to dangle"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

Ghettoria Nation Decides: Two Mommies One Too Many?

Government Acts
The Issue

The commercial release of the controversial children's book 'Heather Has Two Mommies' in Ghettoria Nation has sparked debate over laws concerning the adoption of children by homosexual couples.

The Debate

"I don't care what these so-called scientific studies say,"

says Violet du Pont, representing a number of conservative religious organisations.

"How can a boy hope to develop properly into a man if he's being brought up by
poofs? A father figure is not supposed to behave as if it is 'okay' to be, um,
romantically invested in another man - and the same goes for lesbians! Why?
Because it is not okay. It'll just give them gay! Think about it: say you have
two gay lions - they can't have children because nature did not provide them
with the tools and if God wanted gays to have kids then they would have those
tools. Don't legalise this blasphemy! Think of the children!"

"This just doesn't go far enough in my opinion,"

grumbles Gregory Nagasawa an ardent opponent to homosexuality.

"The more concessions we give these people, the more they'll reduce our nation
to the most embarrassing gayfest of all the_south_pacific! We'll be a joke!
Homosexuality is a sin, and not only that it's a disease of society and there's
no two ways about it. It must be criminalised and those responsible hanged just
like in the good old days."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

"I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone could possibly be against
this,"

complains Jacob Kantelberg, showing up at your office wearing a pink feather boa.

"Bart and I are good and caring people and will make excellent fathers, so
what's the problem? All of the scientific studies have shown that there's no
difference in the wellbeing of children raised by gay and straight couples. All
that's holding these little darlings back from the happy family life that they
deserve is the outdated prejudices of some prudes. All we want is to adopt a
child to call our own. It'll be fabulous!"

Ghettoria Nation Decides:Minority Group Demands Language Recognition.

Ghettoria Nation Decides:Minority Group Demands Language Recognition.

The Issue.
A group several thousands strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Ghettoria Nation, is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized, as an official language.

The Debate.

Thomas Broadside, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators.

"The language of Ghettoria Nation is as important to our national identity as
our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to
speak as those ruffians do."

Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well,

"If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and
fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody's overhead. That
means higher prices for the person in the street."

Falala Li, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal.

"The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Ghettoria Nation needs is a
new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That's unity
without favoritism."

The Government Position

"Smarker, but ee's gone blongie 'round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a
newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it's brine. Sorky, hang our trandy
high!"

says Alexei Mombota, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said,

"I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought
stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you
to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a
policy of multilingualism throughout Ghettoria Nation!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

John McLaine. from Ghettoria.

Prueba publicación blog

Ghettoria Nation Decides:
Should Democracy Be Compulsory?

The Issue
In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have
stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate

"It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator Bill
Chicago. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly
representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often
than others. That's why we always end up with such terrible
politicians."

"This raises an interesting issue," says Elizabeth Utopia, .
"And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it
would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it.
Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"

The Government Position

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt
"Compulsory voting makes about as much as sense as having the
death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist
Anne-Marie Washington. "You can't force people, to be free,
\Pau=300\You can only give them the choice. ,Besides, if all those
derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their ass once every few
years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."

Jennifer MacLainne
from Ghettoria

Ghettoria Old Files

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Interview 16issue

Interviews : Falala Li and Alexei Mombota

Ghettorian Landscapes

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Ghettorian Old Footages

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